I'm Karla

I've been working on reading the same book for a month or so now. While I find the book interesting & an easy read, I just keep putting it on the back burner. I've read a few other books in the mean time & I've spent plenty of time playing on the WWW. I know why I keep putting it off. Which is funny, really, since it's exactly what I've been asking for. A closer relationship with God. I'm finding my answer involves giving up things & I'm just like the next person, I don't wanna give up anything. Human desires, well, they suck.....
 
Last night I needed something to do. The girls were in bed, asleep, without me, my hubby was on the computer (so that was out), & we just cancelled our Dish (so no TV upstairs). I browsed good ole Facebook, on my phone, for a few & then decided to pick up the book & read a few chapters. These chapters talked about growing your relationship with God & who you have always identified yourself to be. Things I have been praying about for weeks. Coincidence? I think not.....

So who do I define myself as? Well if I had never met you, I'd tell you I was Karla, mother to 3 beautiful little girls & wife to my amazing husband of 6 years. I am Karla, a stay at home mom. Which I'd then feel a little less than "awesome" about & I'd probably end there, while getting lost in my own thoughts. Thoughts about who I used to be. An assistant manager. I might even feel like I should tell you this just to make myself sound just a little bit more important & interesting. After all, how important & interesting does staying at home sound? It's not some prestigious job out in the workforce.

I know staying at home with my girls IS an important job. I just fail to realize it on so many occasions. Last night, however, I was enlightened to a new way of thinking. I am not defined by any of these realities. I like how the author put it, "Like many women, I'd struggled with a flawed perception of myself. My sense of identity & worth were dependent on the wrong things."

My real reality is......this is just a moment in time. I'll blink my eyes & it will be over. One day, I will meet new people & I will define myself as Karla, mother to 3 beautiful women, grandmother (should I be so blessed) to xxx number of grandkids, wife to amazing husband of xxx years & who knows what line of work I'll say I do. BUT the one thing that will not change is.....I am a child of God & I can't feel truly fulfilled till I listen to Him. I can't wait till I decide to quit being so scared & give myself over completely.

Today is day 9, I believe, of my "song posts". I'm sure you'll see why I chose this song....& BTW, the book I'm reading is called "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. You can find more out about it HERE.