At war

I moved out of my parents house when I was 18 but after almost 6 years & 2 whirlwind relationships later, I found myself back in their house. While I was thankful to have supportive parents to fall back on, & believe me I was in a financial mess, I really felt like a failure going home.

I didn't feel like I had just let my parents down, I had let myself down as well. I didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't know if I'd ever trust anyone again. It was a time of self evaluation & sometimes we don't really like what we see, do we?

Today is day 5 of my song challenge. I picked a song that I related to during this transition. This song, for me, is about a war raging within yourself. Trying to figure out who you are, where you've been, where you're going & the confusion that follows. It's about not having the words to express yourself while your life is spinning out of control.

Lyrics:

Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

So I speak to you in riddles
'Cause my words get in my way
I smoke the whole thing to my head
& feel it wash away
'cause I can't take anymore of this
I want to come apart
& dig myself a little hole
inside your precious heart

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention
Yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said