I love that I have an appreciation for all types of music, with a few exceptions. I do not like bands that scream. You know the ones I'm talking about. Sounds like they are literally just screaming into the mic. Gives me an instant migraine. I can remember back in the day* I'd be good listening to that sorta thing, say at a party, but today, No Way. Maybe that's just the mom in me, the adult in me, or that I've just become an old fogy. Oh well, whatever it is, I just can't listen to it. However, not that you care, I'm good with you listening to it. I know, I know that was relief to hear, huh?
I can remember the first song that turned me onto classical music. I believe I was in the 7th grade or close to it. My music teacher played "Air" by Johann Sebastian Bach. I remember I made my mom take me to the library to get the record. LOL the record. Am I showing my age? Once upon a time, that is all my mom had in the house. A record player & tons of 45's. Maybe I'm showing her age....anyway.....We were cool!!! I loved dancing around to songs with my mom & sister. Those were the days.
So back to Bach's "Air"....
You know what just dawned on me as I was sitting listening to "Air" today? When my oldest was a baby, she had a pack n play that came with a little music player. You know, the ones that hang on the side of the crib? It played this song. I used to play it over n over for her at night when she was just a few weeks old. Love this song....so thankful to my teacher for sharing....here's a clip for you as today's song post....
*back in the day. That was for you DH, I know how much you love when I say it....
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
We're all called
What feeds your soul? What is your calling? What lights you up more than anything? If you had unlimited resources, what would you be doing with your life? Over the last few months, everywhere I turn, these questions keep popping up. Now, it's quite the coincidence since I've been praying to God to help me find my calling. Or is it? Have I been failing to see & hear all these TV shows, radio programs, blog posts, & news articles? Is this the hot topic of the month? OR is God speaking to me through these outlets? Obviously, as we've all heard many times, God is not going to pick up the phone & call me. I'm not going to answer the phone to Him saying, Hello Karla, this is God, you were created to......No, that won't happen, but I will eventually find my calling.....
Did anyone see Oprah's farewell show? I haven't seen her show in years & that's not because I dislike Oprah. I actually love her show. I think she is so inspirational. She has taken her show, her power, her wealth, her knowledge & used it to help countless others. It just so happens that I caught her finale. What an amazing ending to this chapter in her life!! If you missed it, you can view a few of the clips & a typed version on her website. I have to say it is a must read. Her words were beautiful & moving. Oprah gets it. She has listened to God & used her calling to serve....Her show will be missed & I can't wait to see where she goes from here.
Quotes that spoke to me during her show:
Today's song is one that I have just recently found. I have fallen in love with the words & I feel it fits perfectly for today's topic....your calling....
Did anyone see Oprah's farewell show? I haven't seen her show in years & that's not because I dislike Oprah. I actually love her show. I think she is so inspirational. She has taken her show, her power, her wealth, her knowledge & used it to help countless others. It just so happens that I caught her finale. What an amazing ending to this chapter in her life!! If you missed it, you can view a few of the clips & a typed version on her website. I have to say it is a must read. Her words were beautiful & moving. Oprah gets it. She has listened to God & used her calling to serve....Her show will be missed & I can't wait to see where she goes from here.
Quotes that spoke to me during her show:
"You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you're responsible for the energy that you bring to others."
"All life is energy and we are transmitting it at every moment. We are all beaming little signals like radio frequencies, and the world is responding in kind."
"Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it. You have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world."
"I learned from the guests on this show, no need to feel superior to anybody. Because, whether it's heroin addiction or gambling addiction or shopping addiction or food addiction, work addiction, the root is all the same---unworthiness---not feeling worthy enough to own the life you were created for---this show has taught me you're worthy because you are born and because you are here. Your being here, your being alive, makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough."
"I've talked to nearly 30,000 people---all had one thing in common: They all wanted validation---They want to know Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?---Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me."
"I know I've never been alone, and you haven't either. And I know that that presence, that flow--some people call it grace--is working in my life at every single turn. And yours too, if you let it in. It's closer than your breath, and it is yours for the asking."
"Connect. Embrace. Liberate. Love somebody. Just one person. And then spread that to two. And as many as you can. You'll see the difference it makes."
"I understand the manifestation of grace and God, so I know there are no coincidences. There are none. Only divine order here."
-Oprah
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Excuses
I always thought I'd be the type of mom to make sure my kids got involved in things. Like sports, dance, gymnastics, instruments, & the list goes on. I just remember thinking, if my parents had put me into activities when I was little, I might have been more outgoing. I just want my girls to be filled with confidence. I want them to feel like the world is theirs for the taking. Something I've never felt. I just always felt I make a better wallflower than a shining star.
So, here I sit with no real passion for anything. Well, I guess I get a hair here n there, but as I've told you lots of times in the past, it fizzles out just as fast as it came. AND......I have yet to put my kids into anything. RD is old enough for sure, but we don't have the funds. Dance, gymnastics, etc is EXPENSIVE...geez..how do you swing it?? Maybe that's why my parents never put me in anything.....deep sigh.....
I've always wanted to play the guitar. I love the guitar. Actually, I think you ROCK if you can play. ;) My sweet hubby went out & bought me one for my birthday, oh about, 5 years ago. Guess how awesome I am at playing? You guessed it. I'm not, because I don't play. Why? I don't know. I guess I'm too lazy. That's probably the biggest reason. I also have no clue how to read music & even though my hubby has offered to coach me, I get frustrated too quick. I wanna take the easy way out. My BIL suggested I use Tabs. Yeah, ummmm, that worked for figuring out how to play Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water" & we all know that song takes skill people. Bahahahahaha. My hubby was ready to kill me 15 mins into getting the beginning of it down. I've also come up with the excuse that my fingers are too little to play. That's gotta be the lamest excuse. I mean look at all the girls out there playing now a days. I'm sure they weren't born with "man hands". HA! Sadly the guitar just sits in my bedroom collecting dust & every now & again it gets a little love from one of the girls. Love, riiiight. I'm sure it felt the love when RD broke a string a few nights ago.....
Today, day 10, I am posting my favorite "guitar" song. I'm sure there are other awesome ones out there but I just think Lindsey is freaking talented!!! Feel free to share your favorite! Happy listening.....
So, here I sit with no real passion for anything. Well, I guess I get a hair here n there, but as I've told you lots of times in the past, it fizzles out just as fast as it came. AND......I have yet to put my kids into anything. RD is old enough for sure, but we don't have the funds. Dance, gymnastics, etc is EXPENSIVE...geez..how do you swing it?? Maybe that's why my parents never put me in anything.....deep sigh.....
I've always wanted to play the guitar. I love the guitar. Actually, I think you ROCK if you can play. ;) My sweet hubby went out & bought me one for my birthday, oh about, 5 years ago. Guess how awesome I am at playing? You guessed it. I'm not, because I don't play. Why? I don't know. I guess I'm too lazy. That's probably the biggest reason. I also have no clue how to read music & even though my hubby has offered to coach me, I get frustrated too quick. I wanna take the easy way out. My BIL suggested I use Tabs. Yeah, ummmm, that worked for figuring out how to play Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water" & we all know that song takes skill people. Bahahahahaha. My hubby was ready to kill me 15 mins into getting the beginning of it down. I've also come up with the excuse that my fingers are too little to play. That's gotta be the lamest excuse. I mean look at all the girls out there playing now a days. I'm sure they weren't born with "man hands". HA! Sadly the guitar just sits in my bedroom collecting dust & every now & again it gets a little love from one of the girls. Love, riiiight. I'm sure it felt the love when RD broke a string a few nights ago.....
Today, day 10, I am posting my favorite "guitar" song. I'm sure there are other awesome ones out there but I just think Lindsey is freaking talented!!! Feel free to share your favorite! Happy listening.....
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
I'm Karla
I've been working on reading the same book for a month or so now. While I find the book interesting & an easy read, I just keep putting it on the back burner. I've read a few other books in the mean time & I've spent plenty of time playing on the WWW. I know why I keep putting it off. Which is funny, really, since it's exactly what I've been asking for. A closer relationship with God. I'm finding my answer involves giving up things & I'm just like the next person, I don't wanna give up anything. Human desires, well, they suck.....
Last night I needed something to do. The girls were in bed, asleep, without me, my hubby was on the computer (so that was out), & we just cancelled our Dish (so no TV upstairs). I browsed good ole Facebook, on my phone, for a few & then decided to pick up the book & read a few chapters. These chapters talked about growing your relationship with God & who you have always identified yourself to be. Things I have been praying about for weeks. Coincidence? I think not.....
So who do I define myself as? Well if I had never met you, I'd tell you I was Karla, mother to 3 beautiful little girls & wife to my amazing husband of 6 years. I am Karla, a stay at home mom. Which I'd then feel a little less than "awesome" about & I'd probably end there, while getting lost in my own thoughts. Thoughts about who I used to be. An assistant manager. I might even feel like I should tell you this just to make myself sound just a little bit more important & interesting. After all, how important & interesting does staying at home sound? It's not some prestigious job out in the workforce.
I know staying at home with my girls IS an important job. I just fail to realize it on so many occasions. Last night, however, I was enlightened to a new way of thinking. I am not defined by any of these realities. I like how the author put it, "Like many women, I'd struggled with a flawed perception of myself. My sense of identity & worth were dependent on the wrong things."
My real reality is......this is just a moment in time. I'll blink my eyes & it will be over. One day, I will meet new people & I will define myself as Karla, mother to 3 beautiful women, grandmother (should I be so blessed) to xxx number of grandkids, wife to amazing husband of xxx years & who knows what line of work I'll say I do. BUT the one thing that will not change is.....I am a child of God & I can't feel truly fulfilled till I listen to Him. I can't wait till I decide to quit being so scared & give myself over completely.
Today is day 9, I believe, of my "song posts". I'm sure you'll see why I chose this song....& BTW, the book I'm reading is called "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. You can find more out about it HERE.
Last night I needed something to do. The girls were in bed, asleep, without me, my hubby was on the computer (so that was out), & we just cancelled our Dish (so no TV upstairs). I browsed good ole Facebook, on my phone, for a few & then decided to pick up the book & read a few chapters. These chapters talked about growing your relationship with God & who you have always identified yourself to be. Things I have been praying about for weeks. Coincidence? I think not.....
So who do I define myself as? Well if I had never met you, I'd tell you I was Karla, mother to 3 beautiful little girls & wife to my amazing husband of 6 years. I am Karla, a stay at home mom. Which I'd then feel a little less than "awesome" about & I'd probably end there, while getting lost in my own thoughts. Thoughts about who I used to be. An assistant manager. I might even feel like I should tell you this just to make myself sound just a little bit more important & interesting. After all, how important & interesting does staying at home sound? It's not some prestigious job out in the workforce.
I know staying at home with my girls IS an important job. I just fail to realize it on so many occasions. Last night, however, I was enlightened to a new way of thinking. I am not defined by any of these realities. I like how the author put it, "Like many women, I'd struggled with a flawed perception of myself. My sense of identity & worth were dependent on the wrong things."
My real reality is......this is just a moment in time. I'll blink my eyes & it will be over. One day, I will meet new people & I will define myself as Karla, mother to 3 beautiful women, grandmother (should I be so blessed) to xxx number of grandkids, wife to amazing husband of xxx years & who knows what line of work I'll say I do. BUT the one thing that will not change is.....I am a child of God & I can't feel truly fulfilled till I listen to Him. I can't wait till I decide to quit being so scared & give myself over completely.
Today is day 9, I believe, of my "song posts". I'm sure you'll see why I chose this song....& BTW, the book I'm reading is called "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. You can find more out about it HERE.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Is this for real?
CAUTION: this post is about bodily parts, pooping & all the other lovely natural things that go on with the body. Just know you've been warned.
If you've been a follower of the blog for awhile or if you've checked out the other pages on my blog, you'll know that I have Pelvic Organ Prolapse. You'll know that I worry for my girls' future. Not how it will turn out, well of course I worry about that too, but I worry about them developing what I have. Yesterday was the most sickening day I've had. My middle child's rectum prolapsed! That is NOT the same thing as POP, but very similar. Instead of her female organs, it was her rectum. I knew what it was right away because I've researched "prolapses" so much. My heart sunk so low......
My oldest, RD, was taking my middle, Gala, to the bathroom. Something they have been trying out the last few weeks. Buddies in the bathroom...what can I say, they're girls. They were in there just a few minutes when RD comes out to ask me to wipe Gala. She had a BM & RD will not wipe her if she's had one. Can't say I blame her. I don't like the task myself. At first glance, I thought she had extra poo hanging from her bum but when I went to "knock" it off, I knew what it was. I was shocked. I kept thinking...No, really? Really? REALLY??
After that, I just knew I had to get a picture. What if it goes away before anyone gets here? No one would believe what I was seeing if they didn't have proof & I didn't wanna sound like a nut & tell everyone I knew without a doubt is was a prolapsed rectum. Oh, there goes Karla again with her self diagnosis....With lots of panic in my voice I asked RD to grab me my camera & the phone. RD had 100 questions. You know how it is with little kids. What's going on? Why do you want the camera? What's wrong with Gala? Why is there an emergency? Talk about heightened stress trying to answer these questions! However, when it comes to my girls, I always answer as honestly as I can.
On one hand, I didn't know if I should move Gala & on the other, I knew the gravity of just sitting on a toilet was NOT good either. WHAT TO DO??!! RD couldn't find the camera so as calmly as I could I explained where it was. Then she couldn't reach it. Again, calmly but a little more rattled I asked her if she could find a stool or chair. Finally here she comes with both in hand & tells me, matter of factly, that we should call Daddy. Daddy is the hero of the house. If there is a crisis, she needs him called. Not in a few minutes, NOW....but she's always so, IDK, calm about it....God bless her!
I snapped two quick pictures & then called my hubby. Voice mail. Redial. Voice mail. More stress. Redial. Voice mail. Scream. Phone my Mom....tell her, while fighting back tears, Gala just took a BM & her rectum is turned inside out. My Mom says....well, I'm sure she's just getting hemorrhoids. HEMORRHOIDS?!? No, you don't understand. Her rectum is turned inside out, it prolapsed, IDK how to explain this to you! Moms. Aren't they the best thing ever? She says so calmly, well phone the doctor & if you need us we'll come right over. OK then, COME NOW!
I tried my hubby once more & got voice mail yet again. I phone the clinic, ask for the nurse only to be told they are gone for the day. Is anyone there I can talk to?? Silence...then a, what do you need? I explain again this time adding.... & it is NOT hemorrhoids. She puts me through to the relay service. They take my message & tell me the doctor will get to us ASAP....I wonder if the dispatcher heard the urgency in my voice?!?! Maybe we should just head to the freaking ER! Are my parents here yet? & why the hell hasn't my husband called back??!!
Right then the phone rings & it's him. Did you call? YES, I called! but that didn't come out. Nothing came out. Once I heard his voice, I broke down, I could not speak & finally I said what I could through sobs & you know what? He actually said, Do you need me to come home? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YES, I need you to come home! I needed you here 15 minutes ago!!
I decide to get her off the toilet & lay her down on the living room floor. I cleaned her up with a wet wipe the best I could then ran around looking for my clothes, my purse, something comfy for her to slip on & the phone rings. It's the clinic. Hello?
Yes, we have the doctor on the line..
OK, Hello? Nothing but silence..Hello?
Yes, can you hear me?
Barely...
OK, this is Dr. Blah Blah what's the matter?
Well, this is Karla, Gala's Mom...& then I start explaining & I get interrupted
I'm sorry what? who is the Dr?
WHAT?? Is this Dr. Blah Blah?
Yes
YOU, YOU are my Dr!!!!
Oh, I'm sorry, the patient?
Gala! This is Karla, Gala's Mom....
Oh, yes, I'm sorry...Gala...go ahead
so I start over....to end with..... & her rectum is hanging out of her....
Silence
HELLO??!! DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?!
oh, yes, sorry, I can barely hear you. I am almost at the clinic...can I call you back?
FINE, just call me! I need to know what to do!
Can you say frazzled, scared, sick, s t r e s s ssssssssssssssss
Thank God, that right then my hubby came through the door. His face dropped as soon as he seen Gala & he now knew I was not f**king around.......He could not get his hands cleaned or his greasy uniform changed fast enough. Relief, someone seen it. I was not a loon. I was starting to be believed....
The phone rings & it's the doctor. She asks me to explain it again because she heard nothing. I tell her.
Well, we can push it back in.
You mean like right now?!
Yes, or you can come in...
Yes, that is what we are doing. I am not doing this. I don't wanna damage her!
How soon can you be here?
15, 20 minutes tops..
OK, I'll add you to the schedule.
In comes my parents & my Mom immediately got down on the floor with Gala & started stroking her head. She knew I wasn't "just being a Mom"...this was for real! I slip some panties & a comfy tee on Gala & we are out the door. One question we both have. Do we just sit her in her seat? What other option do we have....
When we get to the clinic, we stop to check in. It never fails if I get this one receptionist, she always needs to see INS info....I am not in the mood, lady!! She is always so nice I couldn't be upset with her. She has a job to do after all & maybe she is doing it exactly the way she's supposed to....what do I know?
In comes the Dr & I ask right away. Is it a prolapsed rectum? She says, politely, that's what it sounds like from what you describe but I won't know till I examine her. I also need your consent.
For what?
To push it back in. Anything could go wrong when doing this so we need your consent.
Hubby jumps in....Like what? What can go wrong?
Well, it can come out.
It's already out!
Yes, but it can come out.
Like what? I mean, it's already out. Like more? Farther? What??
See, now he's panicked. It's not just a Mom thing. Ultimately, we decide to push it back, but guess what? It went back in on it's own. Relief. Right then, I knew I had to show the Dr the pics. Yes, I packed the camera!! Very nice pics she said & yes, it was prolapsed. A stage 2. :( not good news.
So now what? Well, if it keeps reoccurring, surgery. Reoccurring means like 8-10 times. I'm all choked up again. You know, this is not life threatening. It's not say like a cancer scare. I know that. What I do know however are all the risks involved with a surgery like this & I have opted to NOT have it for myself. How in the world can I subject my tiny & precious little 2 year old girl to it? The bad thing is, it came out again last night during another BM.....my heart is breaking....
Please, please, pray for healing for her. Pray for no more recurrences. Pray for strength & courage & for answers to find us, if we are faced with this decision in the future......
Today is Day 8 of my song challenge. It really isn't even a challenge any more. It's just more a daily song post... I almost just said the heck with today's song post but I decided I could post one.
Friday, May 20, 2011
God's plan
And there you have it, 5 days of sad music. I can't promise you I won't have anymore "sad" stuff to throw out there but at least it won't have such a dark feel to it. So did you hang with me through all my trials & boring tales? I hope so. Are you ready to hear a brighter love story?
I don't recall if I ever told you, but I met my hubby on a blind date. A date that, had my hubby or I listened to our first instinct, may have never happened. See, my brother in law set us up & our story goes somewhat like this....
My BIL stated that he had the "perfect" guy for me. That was the funniest thing I had heard in awhile. There was no way my BIL could spot the "perfect" guy EVER. See, the beau from Day 3 was my BIL's best friend & I wasn't risking meeting up with another guy like that. As much as my BIL insisted "Mr. Perfect" wasn't anything like Day 3 dude, I wasn't hearing it.
A few weeks later my BIL comes, into my place of work, to deliver a message. "You have a date Friday, so don't make plans". WHAT??! I could not believe he did that. Angry does not begin to describe how I felt. I think he was prepared for some back lash. He tried to reassure me with things like, we'll be there, give him a shot, "Mr. Perfect" is marriage material....to which I exclaimed Marriage Material, What do YOU know about marriage material??!! As much as I loved my BIL, he's like a real brother to me, he was far from grown up. He didn't know "marriage material" if it hit him upside his head!!
All week I was livid. I was not going on this date. Friday night came & right up until the time I went, I wanted to bail on this guy. The 4 of us met up for dinner. I made plans for later that night, it was my escape card, so we all parted ways fairly early. I wasn't for sure if he was "the one". A week had gone by when my BIL said "He's afraid you'll forget what he looks like. Can I set something up again soon?" I hadn't really thought much about another date, but found it cute he'd say something so funny as forgetting what he looked like. I agreed. We could do something the following weekend.
This time we went bowling. I was taken back by how laid back he was. Real easy going, never rushing, funny, and charming. I was still apprehensive though. I just didn't want to jump into anything. We discussed a date for the following weekend, but this time it was going to be just the two of us. We planned to go see a movie, but when he picked me up, he asked if he could run home & check his pipes. LOL Say what? It was freezing outside & he was worried his pipes might freeze. We drove to his place, 45 mins away, & it felt silly to come all the way back for a movie. So, we stayed in & watched one there. It actually worked out better. Being somewhere private, instead of a theater, gave us lots of talk time. I did more of the talking but he was a really great listener, something I had NEVER experienced. From that night on, we were pretty much inseparable. This was the first time something had felt so right in my whole life.
I had friends telling me they didn't understand the match. He just wasn't the "typical" guy I'd chosen on other occasions. You know what? I was fine with that because honestly, look where those relationships got me. Maybe that's what the problem was. Up until this point I would have gone back & changed every relationship I'd had but like I said on Day 2, I now understood, I would have never appriciated him like I do.
Following my heart is the best thing I have ever done. Oh, & I forget to mention.....He almost skipped out on me too. He had no idea who he was going to be set up with. For all he knew, I could have been the world's biggest psycho, but now we know......God had bigger plans for the both of us.
We have since given my BIL credit for setting us up & told him he was right on countless occasions. I've given him crap about it though. I said he no longer had excuses. If he could spot "marriage material", he better start being it himself & he has. My sister is very blessed. The two of them stood in with us at our wedding & again were by our side at our convalidation.
Today is Day 7 of my challenge. On one day, you are supposed to pick a song you want played at your wedding. Well, shoot, I already got married so its already picked. It's the most appropriate song for us though.
"This much I know is true, God blessed the broken road, that lead me straight to you".........
I don't recall if I ever told you, but I met my hubby on a blind date. A date that, had my hubby or I listened to our first instinct, may have never happened. See, my brother in law set us up & our story goes somewhat like this....
My BIL stated that he had the "perfect" guy for me. That was the funniest thing I had heard in awhile. There was no way my BIL could spot the "perfect" guy EVER. See, the beau from Day 3 was my BIL's best friend & I wasn't risking meeting up with another guy like that. As much as my BIL insisted "Mr. Perfect" wasn't anything like Day 3 dude, I wasn't hearing it.
A few weeks later my BIL comes, into my place of work, to deliver a message. "You have a date Friday, so don't make plans". WHAT??! I could not believe he did that. Angry does not begin to describe how I felt. I think he was prepared for some back lash. He tried to reassure me with things like, we'll be there, give him a shot, "Mr. Perfect" is marriage material....to which I exclaimed Marriage Material, What do YOU know about marriage material??!! As much as I loved my BIL, he's like a real brother to me, he was far from grown up. He didn't know "marriage material" if it hit him upside his head!!
All week I was livid. I was not going on this date. Friday night came & right up until the time I went, I wanted to bail on this guy. The 4 of us met up for dinner. I made plans for later that night, it was my escape card, so we all parted ways fairly early. I wasn't for sure if he was "the one". A week had gone by when my BIL said "He's afraid you'll forget what he looks like. Can I set something up again soon?" I hadn't really thought much about another date, but found it cute he'd say something so funny as forgetting what he looked like. I agreed. We could do something the following weekend.
This time we went bowling. I was taken back by how laid back he was. Real easy going, never rushing, funny, and charming. I was still apprehensive though. I just didn't want to jump into anything. We discussed a date for the following weekend, but this time it was going to be just the two of us. We planned to go see a movie, but when he picked me up, he asked if he could run home & check his pipes. LOL Say what? It was freezing outside & he was worried his pipes might freeze. We drove to his place, 45 mins away, & it felt silly to come all the way back for a movie. So, we stayed in & watched one there. It actually worked out better. Being somewhere private, instead of a theater, gave us lots of talk time. I did more of the talking but he was a really great listener, something I had NEVER experienced. From that night on, we were pretty much inseparable. This was the first time something had felt so right in my whole life.
I had friends telling me they didn't understand the match. He just wasn't the "typical" guy I'd chosen on other occasions. You know what? I was fine with that because honestly, look where those relationships got me. Maybe that's what the problem was. Up until this point I would have gone back & changed every relationship I'd had but like I said on Day 2, I now understood, I would have never appriciated him like I do.
Following my heart is the best thing I have ever done. Oh, & I forget to mention.....He almost skipped out on me too. He had no idea who he was going to be set up with. For all he knew, I could have been the world's biggest psycho, but now we know......God had bigger plans for the both of us.
We have since given my BIL credit for setting us up & told him he was right on countless occasions. I've given him crap about it though. I said he no longer had excuses. If he could spot "marriage material", he better start being it himself & he has. My sister is very blessed. The two of them stood in with us at our wedding & again were by our side at our convalidation.
Today is Day 7 of my challenge. On one day, you are supposed to pick a song you want played at your wedding. Well, shoot, I already got married so its already picked. It's the most appropriate song for us though.
"This much I know is true, God blessed the broken road, that lead me straight to you".........
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Gone but never forgotten
I spent a lot of nights, on the couch, at a friends house. A couples house to be exact. JBH & CH were are high school sweet hearts & I had met them years earlier. Without going into full detail, we met through way of the guy, CH's, mom, but all ended up working at the same place together. If it weren't for these 2 friends, I don't think I'd have made it through this rough spot. They were there to listen but they also kept me distracted. They introduced me to their close knit group of friends & it felt nice to be welcomed by "normal" people.
This is how I met JD, the guy from Day 1's post. My girlfriend, JBH, had spoken of him through the years, often remarking how much she felt the two of us were alike. I had never met him until then, but felt as though I already knew him. While my girlfriend had intentions to set us up as a couple, that's not the way it worked out, even though he would have been a great catch. We did spend a lot of time together. JD had just gotten out of a relationship similar to my own & that gave us some common ground, along with music & 2 very amazing friends. After awhile, I felt that I was ready for a relationship with him but he felt it was just too soon for us both & he didn't wanna ruin the friendship we had. I could understand that, cuz there was no way I wanted to ruin any of these 3's friendship.
One morning, my girlfriend called. She asked me to sit down. A little bit of excitement flowed through me. I thought she was going to tell me that she & CH were expecting but the words that followed were not so easy to swallow. She said..."JD's dead" & then there was silence. Silence that seemed like an eternity until I said..."What?" & again a repeat of her message followed with silence....
I will never forget JD. I think of him often. If there's music playing, he's in my thoughts.
CH is a man of few words. JBH is a woman of, well lets say she's not shy to say it like it is. :) BOTH have huge hearts. They are complete opposites, yet compliment each other well. I will be forever grateful for their friendship & LOVE them till the end of time.
Today is day 6 of my song challenge. Today I picked a song that reminds me of this tragic event that touched so many. It was the one that CH was using to get through the death of his best friend. I'm sure at first glance, it will seem like it was written about a breakup, & that may be the authors intent, but if you look deeper you'll see it relates well with the loss of a close friend, family member or lover. While I first heard & fell in love with the version NOT featuring Amy Lee (lead singer of Evanescence), I posted the one with her. I just love her voice. She is a beautiful addition to the original version........
This is how I met JD, the guy from Day 1's post. My girlfriend, JBH, had spoken of him through the years, often remarking how much she felt the two of us were alike. I had never met him until then, but felt as though I already knew him. While my girlfriend had intentions to set us up as a couple, that's not the way it worked out, even though he would have been a great catch. We did spend a lot of time together. JD had just gotten out of a relationship similar to my own & that gave us some common ground, along with music & 2 very amazing friends. After awhile, I felt that I was ready for a relationship with him but he felt it was just too soon for us both & he didn't wanna ruin the friendship we had. I could understand that, cuz there was no way I wanted to ruin any of these 3's friendship.
One morning, my girlfriend called. She asked me to sit down. A little bit of excitement flowed through me. I thought she was going to tell me that she & CH were expecting but the words that followed were not so easy to swallow. She said..."JD's dead" & then there was silence. Silence that seemed like an eternity until I said..."What?" & again a repeat of her message followed with silence....
I will never forget JD. I think of him often. If there's music playing, he's in my thoughts.
CH is a man of few words. JBH is a woman of, well lets say she's not shy to say it like it is. :) BOTH have huge hearts. They are complete opposites, yet compliment each other well. I will be forever grateful for their friendship & LOVE them till the end of time.
Today is day 6 of my song challenge. Today I picked a song that reminds me of this tragic event that touched so many. It was the one that CH was using to get through the death of his best friend. I'm sure at first glance, it will seem like it was written about a breakup, & that may be the authors intent, but if you look deeper you'll see it relates well with the loss of a close friend, family member or lover. While I first heard & fell in love with the version NOT featuring Amy Lee (lead singer of Evanescence), I posted the one with her. I just love her voice. She is a beautiful addition to the original version........
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
At war
I moved out of my parents house when I was 18 but after almost 6 years & 2 whirlwind relationships later, I found myself back in their house. While I was thankful to have supportive parents to fall back on, & believe me I was in a financial mess, I really felt like a failure going home.
I didn't feel like I had just let my parents down, I had let myself down as well. I didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't know if I'd ever trust anyone again. It was a time of self evaluation & sometimes we don't really like what we see, do we?
Today is day 5 of my song challenge. I picked a song that I related to during this transition. This song, for me, is about a war raging within yourself. Trying to figure out who you are, where you've been, where you're going & the confusion that follows. It's about not having the words to express yourself while your life is spinning out of control.
Lyrics:
Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
So I speak to you in riddles
'Cause my words get in my way
I smoke the whole thing to my head
& feel it wash away
'cause I can't take anymore of this
I want to come apart
& dig myself a little hole
inside your precious heart
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention
Yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
I didn't feel like I had just let my parents down, I had let myself down as well. I didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't know if I'd ever trust anyone again. It was a time of self evaluation & sometimes we don't really like what we see, do we?
Today is day 5 of my song challenge. I picked a song that I related to during this transition. This song, for me, is about a war raging within yourself. Trying to figure out who you are, where you've been, where you're going & the confusion that follows. It's about not having the words to express yourself while your life is spinning out of control.
Lyrics:
Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
So I speak to you in riddles
'Cause my words get in my way
I smoke the whole thing to my head
& feel it wash away
'cause I can't take anymore of this
I want to come apart
& dig myself a little hole
inside your precious heart
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention
Yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The sell out
Remember yesterday's post where I said I wouldn't sell myself short? Yeah, so much for that. I guess I just couldn't be alone. I jumped in a relationship the second I could. Which wasn't but days later. What's worse is the fact I jumped in with a beau way worse than the one before. I just drew the crazies in like a magnet. There were tell tale signs from the beginning that this relationship was toxic. I should have gotten out the minute it started but everything spiraled out of control fast. Before I knew it we had been together for a year. One one hand, I was so angry at God for dealing me a crappy hand, on the other, I felt it was my punishment for all the wrong I'd done in the relationship before this one. While I had been broken down in the previous relationship, I also dished out my fair share of hurt.
This new relationship snapped me out of my naive childlike days. I finally decided I had had enough & I was leaving. It was late at night & we were fighting yet again. He had a way of making me feel guilty. See, he was adopted & he used the same song & dance every time I threatened to leave. "Go ahead, everyone has always left me. Why would you be any different? But I really need you." I knew as he was speaking these words, they didn't matter, that I was tapped out. They were not going to work on me anymore. It was not my fault this relationship wasn't working. I was going. Matter of fact, I was already gone. When he realized I wasn't responding, he dealt me a blow. He started crying, pulled up his sleeves to his shirt & revealed track marks then pleaded for help.
I was so shocked. How had I lived with this person for so long & had no clue he was using? Was I really that much in the dark? I was so angry. I knew right then I was NOT staying there any longer but the desperation in his voice held me there. The months that followed were chaos. I felt like I was actually living in a movie. I was dating a user & while I tried like mad to get him help, my attempts failed. Between working crazy hours, pacing the floors at night wondering if had gotten killed, phoning Recovery Resources to inquire about open beds, & trips to the ER for missed hits, I was exhausted, to say the least. Finally at the end of a 2nd year with him, an opportunity came for me to flee from this nightmare & I took it. I ran & I thank God everyday my parents, sister & 2 really good friends were there to pick me back up.
It took a long time to put myself back together. On days I see news articles about a drug bust, the emotions resurface but I no longer feel like I let him down. I did what I could. I just say a small prayer of thanks & rest a little easier. There's one less drug house for someones son or daughter to get their fix from.
Today is day 4 of my song challenge. In the rules, there is a day you dedicate to a song you play when you're angry. I don't have many "angry" days anymore but I had a ton then. This song is one I played a lot to help pull me through.
Lyrics:
Well, I don't wanna see you waiting
I've already gone too far away
I still can't keep the day from ending
No more messed up reasons for me to stay
Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel
I just hit the floor, don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason
Let's make the call & take it all, whoa again
Months went by with us pretending
When did our light turn from green to red
I took a chance & left you standing
lost the will to do this once again
Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel
I just hit the floor, don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason
Let's make the call & take it all
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time again, whoa again
I see you waiting
Lonesome, lonely
I see you waiting
I see you waiting
Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel
I just hit the floor, don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason
Let's make the call & take it all
Repeat
This new relationship snapped me out of my naive childlike days. I finally decided I had had enough & I was leaving. It was late at night & we were fighting yet again. He had a way of making me feel guilty. See, he was adopted & he used the same song & dance every time I threatened to leave. "Go ahead, everyone has always left me. Why would you be any different? But I really need you." I knew as he was speaking these words, they didn't matter, that I was tapped out. They were not going to work on me anymore. It was not my fault this relationship wasn't working. I was going. Matter of fact, I was already gone. When he realized I wasn't responding, he dealt me a blow. He started crying, pulled up his sleeves to his shirt & revealed track marks then pleaded for help.
I was so shocked. How had I lived with this person for so long & had no clue he was using? Was I really that much in the dark? I was so angry. I knew right then I was NOT staying there any longer but the desperation in his voice held me there. The months that followed were chaos. I felt like I was actually living in a movie. I was dating a user & while I tried like mad to get him help, my attempts failed. Between working crazy hours, pacing the floors at night wondering if had gotten killed, phoning Recovery Resources to inquire about open beds, & trips to the ER for missed hits, I was exhausted, to say the least. Finally at the end of a 2nd year with him, an opportunity came for me to flee from this nightmare & I took it. I ran & I thank God everyday my parents, sister & 2 really good friends were there to pick me back up.
It took a long time to put myself back together. On days I see news articles about a drug bust, the emotions resurface but I no longer feel like I let him down. I did what I could. I just say a small prayer of thanks & rest a little easier. There's one less drug house for someones son or daughter to get their fix from.
Today is day 4 of my song challenge. In the rules, there is a day you dedicate to a song you play when you're angry. I don't have many "angry" days anymore but I had a ton then. This song is one I played a lot to help pull me through.
Lyrics:
Well, I don't wanna see you waiting
I've already gone too far away
I still can't keep the day from ending
No more messed up reasons for me to stay
Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel
I just hit the floor, don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason
Let's make the call & take it all, whoa again
Months went by with us pretending
When did our light turn from green to red
I took a chance & left you standing
lost the will to do this once again
Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel
I just hit the floor, don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason
Let's make the call & take it all
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time again, whoa again
I see you waiting
Lonesome, lonely
I see you waiting
I see you waiting
Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel
I just hit the floor, don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason
Let's make the call & take it all
Repeat
Monday, May 16, 2011
When it's bad, it's bad
Good afternoon y'all. I hope you've enjoyed the first 2 days of my 30 day song challenge. Once again, I posted on the weekend. I just can't get used to the "real world" weekend. My weekend is Monday & Tuesday....boooooo. I shouldn't complain, it pays the bills! If you missed my last 2 posts, feel free to catch up! ;)
Where do you go when your heart is broken & you don't feel whole? I, for one, as so many of us do, turned to another person. My "person" was another boyfriend. I didn't feel the need to be picky about my selection either. I had a void to fill & anyone would do. I spent almost 4 years with the new beau. Our relationship consisted of cheating, lying, & ridicule. So why did I stay for 4 years? Well, I had no feeling of self worth & I thought I loved him. By the time our relationship ended, I was sure I had nothing left to give. I was damaged goods. Sometimes when it's bad, it's bad & I vowed I wouldn't sell myself so short the next time around.......
Today is day 3 of my challenge. Once again I didn't pick a song from the "rules". I just must be a rebel. LOL!!! I guess what I'm really saying is, if you know the rules, don't shoot me for breaking them. I chose this song because I played this over & over during this split. The words were me at that time in my life.......
Lyrics:
If I fall along the way
pick me up & dust me off
& if I get too tired to make it
be my breath so I can walk
If I need some other love
give more than I can stand
& when my smile gets old & faded
wait around I'll smile again
Shouldn't be so complicated
just hold me & then
just hold me again
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
You're breaking me in
& this is how we will end
with you & me bent
If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
could you paint me better off
could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot
I started out clean but I'm jaded
just phoning it in
just breaking the skin
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
You're breaking me in
& this is how we will end
with you & me bent
Start bending me
keep bending me till I'm completely broken in
Shouldn't be so complicated
just touch me & then
just touch me again
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
You're breaking me in
& this is how we will end
with you & me bent
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
You're breaking me in
& this is how we will end
with you & me bent
Where do you go when your heart is broken & you don't feel whole? I, for one, as so many of us do, turned to another person. My "person" was another boyfriend. I didn't feel the need to be picky about my selection either. I had a void to fill & anyone would do. I spent almost 4 years with the new beau. Our relationship consisted of cheating, lying, & ridicule. So why did I stay for 4 years? Well, I had no feeling of self worth & I thought I loved him. By the time our relationship ended, I was sure I had nothing left to give. I was damaged goods. Sometimes when it's bad, it's bad & I vowed I wouldn't sell myself so short the next time around.......
Today is day 3 of my challenge. Once again I didn't pick a song from the "rules". I just must be a rebel. LOL!!! I guess what I'm really saying is, if you know the rules, don't shoot me for breaking them. I chose this song because I played this over & over during this split. The words were me at that time in my life.......
Lyrics:
If I fall along the way
pick me up & dust me off
& if I get too tired to make it
be my breath so I can walk
If I need some other love
give more than I can stand
& when my smile gets old & faded
wait around I'll smile again
Shouldn't be so complicated
just hold me & then
just hold me again
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
You're breaking me in
& this is how we will end
with you & me bent
If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
could you paint me better off
could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot
I started out clean but I'm jaded
just phoning it in
just breaking the skin
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
You're breaking me in
& this is how we will end
with you & me bent
Start bending me
keep bending me till I'm completely broken in
Shouldn't be so complicated
just touch me & then
just touch me again
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
You're breaking me in
& this is how we will end
with you & me bent
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
You're breaking me in
& this is how we will end
with you & me bent
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Love & music through the ages
Who here likes reality TV? How about analyzing someone else's life so that you don't have to focus so much on your own? Well this is the place for you. If you're not into that sorta thing this might still be the place for you....
I have decided to bore you to tears with a few of my love stories & the music that got me through. I have to say, I'm a little apprehensive about doing these few posts. Yes, I think there be a few. I just don't know how well received they'll be or how many judges & executioners I'll have after. However, I feel my stories aren't that much different than many of those out there & someone will relate or maybe one of my stories will help someone pull through.
Today is Day 2 for my 30 day challenge. According to said "rules" I should be posting my least favorite song. I don't get that one. Does that mean it should be a song I hate or just the song at the bottom of the list of my favorites? Hmmmm, confusing much? Maybe I over think things. Eh, I choose to skip this one & that's my right. If you remember, I said I'd use the rules as guidelines & I already admitted defeat the minute I checked out the rules.
Way back when, when I was a kid. A teenager to be exact, I thought I knew it all. I have defining moments in my "love" life that have molded me to who I am today. I've often wondered if I'd do it differently. Don't we all ask that same question? All the pain & heartache gone if we could just change one thing. Would you? Change one thing that is? For me, that is an easy No. No for one reason & one reason only. I would never appreciate my husband like I do. I had to take that road to see him for who he is & let me tell ya, I'm onelucky blessed girl.....
I never experienced my first kiss till I was 15. Can we say nervous?!?! I could tell you who, when, where, & how it happened. In a teens life that has to be a major defining moment. Especially to a young girl. I'm not so sure the boys "think" too much on these things. Needless to say, I didn't take it lightly. I needed it to be special. Does that sound crazy by "today's standards"? It's was just a kiss after all. The next choice beyond that moment wasn't taken lightly either. It came months later. I'm sure you know the moment I'm referring to. I was sure it was love. I'm sure to this day it was love & I don't regret my decision. I spent just shy of 3 years with my high school sweetheart & a brief "retry" a few months after the breakup & I don't regret a thing. However, the time in my life after those years, well I used to think I'd redo in heartbeat. The pain caused by that break up was heart wrenching. It wasn't just the breakup, but the words his mother spoke to me near the end of our time together. She felt I was the cause of all his pain. I was floored & I never spoke with him after the night of her phone call. I felt broken & lost. I headed down a path of self destruction & at the time I didn't care who thought ill of me. I'm sure deep down I cared but that part of my self, I kept that buried. I had a few more major defining moments, a few mini sessions, & a few speedsters. That's how I'll look at them anyway, but all these moments shaped me.....
I've spent a few days compiling a list of my favorite songs. Something I've always done, as I'm sure many do, is relate a song to a period in my life. That's what is so cool about the 30 day challenge. It gives you a chance to reflect on the past. I found it odd that sifting through all these songs, I found not one single sad song that reminded me of my first love. Not one. Instead I was reminded of one upbeat happy sorta song. A song I played for my high school sweetheart during that short lived romance. As I sat & listened to it, it brought a smile to my face. I realized that at that moment in time every word of that song rang true & I never thought that would ever change. Oh, silly little teenage girl, you didn't know what God had in store for you!!
So, here's my song of the day. I hope you enjoy it. I know there is one person that will because she is Mariah's #1 fan. :)
I have decided to bore you to tears with a few of my love stories & the music that got me through. I have to say, I'm a little apprehensive about doing these few posts. Yes, I think there be a few. I just don't know how well received they'll be or how many judges & executioners I'll have after. However, I feel my stories aren't that much different than many of those out there & someone will relate or maybe one of my stories will help someone pull through.
Today is Day 2 for my 30 day challenge. According to said "rules" I should be posting my least favorite song. I don't get that one. Does that mean it should be a song I hate or just the song at the bottom of the list of my favorites? Hmmmm, confusing much? Maybe I over think things. Eh, I choose to skip this one & that's my right. If you remember, I said I'd use the rules as guidelines & I already admitted defeat the minute I checked out the rules.
Way back when, when I was a kid. A teenager to be exact, I thought I knew it all. I have defining moments in my "love" life that have molded me to who I am today. I've often wondered if I'd do it differently. Don't we all ask that same question? All the pain & heartache gone if we could just change one thing. Would you? Change one thing that is? For me, that is an easy No. No for one reason & one reason only. I would never appreciate my husband like I do. I had to take that road to see him for who he is & let me tell ya, I'm one
I never experienced my first kiss till I was 15. Can we say nervous?!?! I could tell you who, when, where, & how it happened. In a teens life that has to be a major defining moment. Especially to a young girl. I'm not so sure the boys "think" too much on these things. Needless to say, I didn't take it lightly. I needed it to be special. Does that sound crazy by "today's standards"? It's was just a kiss after all. The next choice beyond that moment wasn't taken lightly either. It came months later. I'm sure you know the moment I'm referring to. I was sure it was love. I'm sure to this day it was love & I don't regret my decision. I spent just shy of 3 years with my high school sweetheart & a brief "retry" a few months after the breakup & I don't regret a thing. However, the time in my life after those years, well I used to think I'd redo in heartbeat. The pain caused by that break up was heart wrenching. It wasn't just the breakup, but the words his mother spoke to me near the end of our time together. She felt I was the cause of all his pain. I was floored & I never spoke with him after the night of her phone call. I felt broken & lost. I headed down a path of self destruction & at the time I didn't care who thought ill of me. I'm sure deep down I cared but that part of my self, I kept that buried. I had a few more major defining moments, a few mini sessions, & a few speedsters. That's how I'll look at them anyway, but all these moments shaped me.....
I've spent a few days compiling a list of my favorite songs. Something I've always done, as I'm sure many do, is relate a song to a period in my life. That's what is so cool about the 30 day challenge. It gives you a chance to reflect on the past. I found it odd that sifting through all these songs, I found not one single sad song that reminded me of my first love. Not one. Instead I was reminded of one upbeat happy sorta song. A song I played for my high school sweetheart during that short lived romance. As I sat & listened to it, it brought a smile to my face. I realized that at that moment in time every word of that song rang true & I never thought that would ever change. Oh, silly little teenage girl, you didn't know what God had in store for you!!
So, here's my song of the day. I hope you enjoy it. I know there is one person that will because she is Mariah's #1 fan. :)
Saturday, May 14, 2011
For the Love of Music.....
Hi Y'all!!! It's been awhile...hey, isn't that a song title? LOL! Sorry, I'm in music mode at the moment. A friend of mine, I guess I can say she's my friend. Technically, by the definition of friend, I CAN call her friend ....so funny though. I mean I've only actually seen her in person twice but I know her Dad & Mom & I'm friends with her on Facebook. I comment on her posts & pics & she mine. Blah Blah. Don't you like how the grand world of networking works?!? I mean in the Facebook world you can have 500 "friends" & no one would think a thing of it. Obviously no one sees those 500 people on a regular basis. Maybe they do. Maybe I'm just the only one with a small group of close friends? Oh, right, this post wasn't meant to be about Facebook at all. Moving on.....
So, a friend of mine said she's gonna take a 30 day song challenge. Which is a "community" on Facebook (dang it, I mentioned them again!) where participants post a new song each day. They follow a set of "rules" that outlines what type of song you post for your 1st day (your favorite song) through the 30th day (your favorite song this time last year). Now doesn't that sound like fun?! I would think so, to anyone who LOVES music, that is. I've never heard anyone say they "hate" music. Sure, sure, there are those that hate "types" of music but not music itself. OK, now this got me all excited, cuz I'm a crazy person. Immediately I wanted to play but how could I? I'd be "cheating" on a song if I stated it as my favorite over another. I know, I'm crazy, right? Hmmmm, maybe that's why they call it a challenge? Well, I failed coming out the starting gate.....
What I decided to do was use my little blog to rave on some songs I LOVE. I'm gonna use their "rules" as a guideline, where I see fit. Obviously, when it comes to music, we don't all see eye to eye. So, I'm pretty sure of the fact that you're not going to like every single song I post, if any...but PLEASE COMMENT, criticize if you feel the need, but comment. Find a way. Comment directly to the blog or you can find my page on Facebook (doh, curse you fb, quit making me talk about you!!)......
The 1st day of the challenge, as I said before, is dedicated to your favorite song. At first, I thought there was just no way, no way at all, that I could do that. Lock myself into one song?! Are you serious? But, after spending a few days on Youtube browsing the songs that were popping into my head, I'm pretty sure I can do it. The song I chose was "Hang" by Matchbox 20. I love everything about this song. The first time I heard this song, I was at a party. A friend of mine, who passed away just months after this night, & I sat in a quite area of the house talking. He was as passionate about music as I. As we sat & talked, he brought up this song. I was shocked at how many times I had played this album & never heard this song. I was always stuck on the songs I was used to hearing on the radio. How funny, I thought, that I never gave the rest of the album any "love". I don't make that mistake anymore. This song brings back so many emotions for me. From the pain of losing a loved one (esp the one mentioned above), the pain of a breakup, & just the relationship I feel to the struggle these two are sifting through. It's an amazing song & I hope you enjoy it.
Lyrics:
She grabs her magazines
She packs her things & she goes
She leaves the pictures hanging on the wall
She burns all her notes & she knows
She's been here too few years
To feel this old
He smokes his cigarette
He stays outside 'til it's gone
If anybody ever had a heart
He wouldn't be alone, he knows
She's been here too few years to be gone
And we always say
it would be good to go away, someday
but if there's nothing there to make things change
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang
The trouble understand
is she got reasons he don't
funny how he couldn't see at all
'til she grabbed up her coat, and she goes
she's been here too few years
to take it all in stride
But still it's much too long
to let hurt go (you let her go)
And we always say
it would be good to go away, someday
but if there's nothing there to make things change
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang
the same for you, I'll always hang
well I always say
it would be good to go away
but if things don't work out like we think
and there's nothing there to ease this ache
but if there's nothing there to make things change
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang
These lyrics are the sole property of the respective authors, artists and labels. If you like this song please buy their album :)
I hade a rough time finding a video for this song. I finally decided on the following, enjoy :)
So, a friend of mine said she's gonna take a 30 day song challenge. Which is a "community" on Facebook (dang it, I mentioned them again!) where participants post a new song each day. They follow a set of "rules" that outlines what type of song you post for your 1st day (your favorite song) through the 30th day (your favorite song this time last year). Now doesn't that sound like fun?! I would think so, to anyone who LOVES music, that is. I've never heard anyone say they "hate" music. Sure, sure, there are those that hate "types" of music but not music itself. OK, now this got me all excited, cuz I'm a crazy person. Immediately I wanted to play but how could I? I'd be "cheating" on a song if I stated it as my favorite over another. I know, I'm crazy, right? Hmmmm, maybe that's why they call it a challenge? Well, I failed coming out the starting gate.....
What I decided to do was use my little blog to rave on some songs I LOVE. I'm gonna use their "rules" as a guideline, where I see fit. Obviously, when it comes to music, we don't all see eye to eye. So, I'm pretty sure of the fact that you're not going to like every single song I post, if any...but PLEASE COMMENT, criticize if you feel the need, but comment. Find a way. Comment directly to the blog or you can find my page on Facebook (doh, curse you fb, quit making me talk about you!!)......
The 1st day of the challenge, as I said before, is dedicated to your favorite song. At first, I thought there was just no way, no way at all, that I could do that. Lock myself into one song?! Are you serious? But, after spending a few days on Youtube browsing the songs that were popping into my head, I'm pretty sure I can do it. The song I chose was "Hang" by Matchbox 20. I love everything about this song. The first time I heard this song, I was at a party. A friend of mine, who passed away just months after this night, & I sat in a quite area of the house talking. He was as passionate about music as I. As we sat & talked, he brought up this song. I was shocked at how many times I had played this album & never heard this song. I was always stuck on the songs I was used to hearing on the radio. How funny, I thought, that I never gave the rest of the album any "love". I don't make that mistake anymore. This song brings back so many emotions for me. From the pain of losing a loved one (esp the one mentioned above), the pain of a breakup, & just the relationship I feel to the struggle these two are sifting through. It's an amazing song & I hope you enjoy it.
Lyrics:
She grabs her magazines
She packs her things & she goes
She leaves the pictures hanging on the wall
She burns all her notes & she knows
She's been here too few years
To feel this old
He smokes his cigarette
He stays outside 'til it's gone
If anybody ever had a heart
He wouldn't be alone, he knows
She's been here too few years to be gone
And we always say
it would be good to go away, someday
but if there's nothing there to make things change
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang
The trouble understand
is she got reasons he don't
funny how he couldn't see at all
'til she grabbed up her coat, and she goes
she's been here too few years
to take it all in stride
But still it's much too long
to let hurt go (you let her go)
And we always say
it would be good to go away, someday
but if there's nothing there to make things change
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang
the same for you, I'll always hang
well I always say
it would be good to go away
but if things don't work out like we think
and there's nothing there to ease this ache
but if there's nothing there to make things change
if it's the same for you, I'll just hang
These lyrics are the sole property of the respective authors, artists and labels. If you like this song please buy their album :)
I hade a rough time finding a video for this song. I finally decided on the following, enjoy :)
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