Making Friends

In my case, enemies.....I love all animals (well most) just as much as the next, but this little guy is running me nuts. He's come inside our house, climbed our screens, hung out on the deck, etc. He doesn't even care if you get close to him to try & "scare" him off. I started thinking he was NUTS. Today I'm doing dishes & glance out the window. Said annoying squirrel is sitting & eating on the shoulder of darling neighbor. Ah, no wonder annoying squirrel is hanging around. Thanks darling neighbor. :)

Expectations

Parents Magazine has been running a few articles the last few months on mothers' expectations for the "perfect" child. The articles are mainly focusing on mothers of children with special needs. One mother wrote, of her daughter with down syndrome, that had she known she would have terminated the pregnancy. Another mother wrote, her daughter also with down syndrome, that she cried when she looked at her daughter. She knew immediately she had DS. During the night, she cried for the lost visions of a perfect daughter. She felt this could not be her child. Almost like a mourning.

Even though I'm not a parent of a child with special needs, I can sympathize with their pain. These articles made me stop & think. We set ourselves up for such high expectations only to be left feeling let down. I see it in so many aspects of my life and the lives of people around me. There is such a broad spectrum on the  types of expectations we place in our lives. You may be reading this & think that one type may be more impacting than another, but I don't see it that way. An expectation as simple as imagining the perfect family photo can wreak such havoc. You may end up feeling stressed, tense, angry, maybe even lashing out at the kids or hubby. Was this your intention? Does it make you look back at that "perfect shot" and say what a great day? Probably not. What about expectations of who your child will become? Doctor, lawyer, band member? Why do we set ourselves up for this feeling of loss?

Sometimes I think we need to take a step back. Really ask ourselves what this expectation is going to get us. Does anyone see where I'm going with this? It's not about being perfect. It's not about what others think of us. It's about the simple pleasures of life. It's about loving what God has in store for us. In the end, those mothers that lost their "perfect" child never really lost them at all. Their perfect child was right there, waiting patiently for them to see it. When they did, it was like looking at the world through new eyes.

Tradition

Well, I haven't written in awhile & I've had this one saved back till after Thanksgiving. Since my house was stuck with the stomach flu yesterday, I'll share this one today.

With the Christmas holiday drawing near, I'd like to ask that you share a tradition you have. It could be something you did as a child or something that you've continued doing with your kids.

My parents always bought us an ornament every year so that when we were grown, we'd have a great start for our own trees. My Mom tried (meaning some years it didn't happen) to bake a cake for Jesus every year. I mean, 'Tis the reason for the season!! We always went to my Mom's parents house on Christmas Eve. I loved my childhood Christmas'.

I want so badly to start new traditions with my girls. I've decided that this year we are going to read a book on the true meaning of Christmas, attend mass on Christmas Eve, bake a cake, pick out & cut down a real tree, open new PJ's Christmas Eve night, & I will pass on the tradition of giving ornaments. I've also thought about having everyone write each member of the family a "Why I love you" note to give Christmas morning & donating our time to a local charity. Of course, those may have to wait a few years when the girls are older.

Christmas, Christmas time is here. Can you hear me singing to you? :)

Prayer

During my faith journey, I continually find myself trying to control my life. Ultimately, I know it's not my place to control my path but it's hard to let go. Putting my full faith in God & knowing He is leading me on the right path is my biggest obstacle. I have been asking God daily to help me let go & trust in him.

I've found, if I listen, God is always speaking back to me. NO, He didn't pick up the phone & give me a call, but He is working through the relationships that I have. It can be through friends, family, or a complete stranger on the street. You just have to be open to receiving the message & open to new relationships.

This morning, I received an email about this exact subject. Although the message was great, the included prayer was powerful. He knew how much I needed it. I would like to share the prayer with all of you because I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this.

Dear Lord, the dark can be frightening.
Jesus, sometimes my ability to trust seems so much smaller than the step I need to take.
Help me to build a history with You.
A history of seeing You will help me trust You over and over and over again.
I want that. I put my trust in You.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Ruts

I'm in a rut. Not a small one either. It seems I'm stuck in many aspects of my life. I've gone through a lot of changes & challenges these last few years. One of my biggest is due for it's one year anniversary. Sadly, I can't seem to wrap my head around all these changes. I find myself yearning to have myself back. It's not just a mental thing for me. I've had a major "health" issue arise last year & it engulfed me. Since then, I've been letting fear consume me. I think about it every time I make a move. No, it's not something that I will die from. It just sets a whole slew of limitations on me. I'm desperate to not let this rule my life. I just don't know how to work with it. I never thought I'd deal with this at this age. I'm not even sure I thought I'd ever deal with it. Of course, one never does think things will happen to them, do they?

Drum roll please......

We have a winner, but first I want to take the time out to thank everyone that sent in their darling photo! It didn't turn out to be a huge contest but fun none the less! It was a close race for quite a few days!! Now on to the fun....and the winner is.......

Challenge me, please?

There are so many hot & controversial topics in the world. Religion, politics, abortion, euthanasia, birth control, obesity, government sponsored programs & smoking, to name a few. Every human being in the world sees things through different eyes. No two people are exactly the same. Yes, two people may be pro choice yet still have different views as to why they are. Every person is different based on their upbringing, education, faith, surroundings, social standing, etc. Most important, God has given humans freewill.

A friend brought up a hot button topic & immediately someone lashed out. Obviously, more often than not, someone will take offense on these topics. What causes others to lash out? Is it because we are on the opposing side & have a need for everyone to feel the same way? Maybe they feel the speaker is directing the statement toward them. Why is it so hard for everyone to just accept one another for who they are? Wars are started over such topics. What would the world be like if everyone loved everyone for who they are? Flaws, opinions, quirks & all.

I'm sure you've heard the rule it's better to never discuss them. So what's right? Should we discuss them? I feel we should. I never want to pretend to be so highly educated that I have no room for growth. I personally like these topics because I can benefit to hear everyone's side. It opens up my eyes to a broader spectrum of possibilities or new ways of thinking. So while I may not agree with you 100%, I thank you for taking the time out to tell me why you feel the way you do.

Children's Books

I love books. I want my girls to have a love of books.

The great thing is, RD already does. Of course, we read to her from the time she was a month old. I can still see her flapping her chubby arms from pure delight. She'd get so worked up we thought she might take off flying.

Gala seemed to have no use for books, other than for eating. We didn't make the time to read to her nightly. We're.....gasp......Bad Parents. She's getting there though. It's great to see her face light up now too.

We won't be making the same mistake with HC. We make sure to include her during storytime.

Some of our favorite books are:

The Ice-Cream Cone Coot & Other Rare Birds by Arnold Lobel. This one was my oldest sister's book from her childhood. She is 43. CRAZY!! We keep it put up. I want it to survive my girls! LOL

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown. This is a classic.

Ten Little Ladybugs by Melanie Gerth. Great for teaching counting.

The Feelings Book by Todd Parr. Teaches kids all about different emotions.

Everywhere Babies by Susan Meyers. This one is very dear to my heart. This was RD's starter book.

How Many Kisses Do You Want Tonight? by Varsha Bajaj. Another one very dear to me.

So I could go on....but I'd like to tell you about a few others. I subscribe to Parents Magazine & found a small snippet on books for early readers. The suggestions were:

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Bill Martin Jr.

Corduroy by Don Freeman

Alexander & the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

Six by Suess by Dr. Suess

Mortimer by Robert N. Munsch

Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed by Eileen Christelow

We're Going on a Bear Hunt by Helen Oxenbury

Frog and Toad are Friends by Arnold Lobel

Reading is not only a easy way to spend time with our kids but can boost their learning. How great is that?! Check out some of these titles from your local library! We did!

Please share your favorites?!?! Inquiring minds want to know!

Giving Thanks

October has come & gone. Matter of fact, where did 2010 go? Before we know it will be New Years Day. Deep sigh. Christmas is only 50 days away. Can that be?

Lets start November off with a bang. Tell me what your thankful for. I'll start.

I'm thankful because I have 3 healthy kids, a hardworking & dedicated husband, no vehicle payments & a window of opportunity (for a relationship I've been praying for) has opened up. I couldn't ask for more. Well, I could, but I shouldn't :)

Organization

Seems somewhere along the way I have lost organization. Did it slip out of the house while I was at the hospital delivering our first daughter? Would you return it to me if & when you see it, please? I have become the head of FEMA, well, at my house anyway. Only difference is my F in FEMA stands for our last name! I will guarantee you 10 tornadoes pass our house on a daily basis. Need proof?

I just picked this room up 10 minutes ago. I will pick it up again. It will look like this 10 minutes after.

Please excuse the lovely mauve walls & carpet. The previous owners felt it was an injustice to leave a color alone in the palette. I'm too lazy & broke to do anything about it yet & that's a whole new subject. Now if you have suggestions on how to set up a playroom & keep it organized, I'm all ears!

A gamble

I'm taking a gamble & so far I'm not happy with the results. I've got tough competition. I want nothing more than to work from home. I don't need to make a ton of money. I simply want to have extras. Is that really all that much to ask? I know, your thinking, cry me a river. Seems everyone wants this, don't they?!?!

Costume Contest

Good morning all! Hope your Halloween was as awesome as ours!

I had so many show an interest in the contest but only one lonely submission, so far. Don't forget today is the last day to submit your photo!! My one contest entry said they were having difficulty uploading to my email. Wonder if anyone else is having the same problem? Maybe the link in the original post is faulty? If you are, just copy and paste my email threefromthetree@gmail.com to your "To" & then attach your photo in the email. Please don't forget to leave your name!! If you need full details CLICK HERE

Can't wait to see all the submissions!!

Making Time

We've all heard it. We've all said it. There is just never enough hours in the day. I give major props to the working Moms out there. Working a job, going to school, housework, kids activities, me time, the list could go on. I don't understand how you get it all in.

Maybe my lack of time management stems from a personality issue. I honestly don't like being rushed. I loathe changes to our schedule. I have to plan things in advance. I hate when plans go awry. Maybe if I just relaxed more it wouldn't seem so hectic?

I like the girls & us to have a routine. We may stray slightly from time to time but mostly we DON'T. I get so worked up the days we miss Gala's nap time or aren't close to home to get good naps in. I freak when we miss bedtime by a half hour. I refuse to have a phone upstairs. I don't need calls after 8pm interfering with our bedtime. Our house gets shut down by 8pm EVERY night except Thursdays.

I'd love to make playdates. Not just for the girls, but for myself as well. I'm such a creature of habit that I don't see where I can work it in. Honestly, I think maybe I just like it that way. When I was in the workforce, I managed my time well. Now that I am a stay at home Mom, I find that routines fit my girls better. If I really think about it, for me, it's not a time management issue at all but a routine issue. 

Tell me your thoughts. Are strict routines good, bad or neither?

I won't, but I do.....

Couple quick announcements first.......In case you missed it, there is a contest going....click here for details. Also, my darling Gala was chosen by Parents Magazine for a photo contest. If you could, please take a moment and VOTE HERE. You can vote everyday. There's no registration, just click, type, click....THANKS!! 

There are things in life you don't understand until you become a parent. You think you know. You don't. As a naive childfree person, I often criticized parents. Oh how many times I commented, "My kid will NEVER do that!" I thought I'd issue a spanking & be firm. That's all I had to do, right? I'm here to tell you it's not & they do everything I said they wouldn't. Here's just a short list:

My kid will never.......

Drink milk all day & eat nothing.

Eat fast food.

Drink soda.

Drink coffee.

Throw a tantrum in front of others.

Watch TV all day.

Watch SpongeBob.

Run around naked.

Make a mess & not pick it up.

Jump on the furniture or bed.

I'll never......

Let my kid say "Mom" more than once without replying.

Dress frumpy so they look cute OR leave the house looking that way.

Yell when I lose my patience.....I think I actually thought I'd never lose my patience.

Let them sleep w/me.

Have to count to ten because I might explode.

Wean my child from breastfeeding prematurely.


I'm sure my lists could go on. The point is, I said I'd never but it doesn't make me a bad parent because I do. It makes me more sane. If you're a parent you'll understand that.

Laundry Goddess

While doing the dishes my Mom counts glasses, silverware, plates, & bowls. Same routine with the laundry. Although with that, it's socks. If there is one single piece missing a frenzy will start. NOTHING can be started till the the poor lost soul is found. As I watched this habit over the years I often thought how utterly nuts she had to be.

Once I moved out on my own & married, I developed these crazy habits (among some of her others). My wonderful husband shared the household chores. I know. Drool all you want. He's mine. Unfortunately, in the beginning of our marriage I had to cut him off. For goodness sake, the man doesn't fold the towels the right way OR do the dishes in the right order!!

When I got pregnant & the morning sickness kicked in, I had to "suffer" through watching him do everything wrong.....or my sick version of wrong. Harmony has finally restored itself in my house. I am no longer knocked up (first time in almost 3 yrs). I can once again become a housework psycho. This time to a lesser degree. At least in my book. The house is not thanking me for it. Trust me. I know that for a fact.

I have 2 lonely habits now. OK, OK 2 major habits. I still have tons of quirks.

When hanging something up, the hanger's hook has to be to the left when looking at the shirt. Is anyone else crazy over this?

My other consumes way too much of my time......the laundry. Everything is washed according to directions. However, I have developed a habit of hanging EVERY last piece of the girls' clothes regardless of what the tag says. I'm so sick of everything shrinking & fading. I nit pick every last piece, looking for stains. I go through a bottle of Shout a week. My darling husband used to wonder where I had run off to. He's finally just accepted he married a freak. I won't let him do the laundry for fear of a spot being missed or a shirt being dried. He's one of those throw everything in & see what pretty new color comes out on your white shirt. Well, not that bad, but in my crazy mind he is. :)

Now you'll know where to find me. Hidden in a mound of laundry that breeds on its own & needs extra special attention from me....The Laundry Goddess.

BTW......if your really interested, click here to find an awesome remedy cheat sheet for every stain imaginable.

All Hallows Eve

I feel a contest coming on! A Costume Contest!!! This is my 2nd favorite holiday & I never get to celebrate it properly. So let's do something fun!

How to enter:

1. Go to my newly made (it'll be under construction) Facebook Fanpage & press the LIKE button.

2. Email me your contest photo. You MUST own the photo. NO COPYRIGHTS!! Photos submitted after Nov 1st @ 11:59PM (Central) will not be accepted. I will post the submitted photos to the "All Hallows Eve" album on my Facebook Fanpage Nov 2nd.

3. Share the link w/your family/friends & have them comment on your photo. They will have to LIKE the Fanpage in order to do this.

4. The photo w/the most comments will win. I will tally up the votes on Nov 8th & post the results. That's a full week worth of votes!! Comments on photos made after Nov 7th @ 11:59PM (Central) will not be counted.

5. You consent to let me post your photo on my Facebook Fanpage. Each photo will have a number under it. Be sure to make your friends/family aware of your number. I'm sure you want them voting for the right photo!

Want a couple of freebie votes? I will give you 1 vote for Following this blog (after signing up to follow me, you need to comment to this post that you are now a follower or something to that effect) & 1 for LIKING the Fanpage. Don't forget to vote for your own photo. THAT's 3 votes for you right there!!

You can start submitting photos immediately! :)

What's the prize?

A $10 giftcard to Walmart & bragging rights!!!

Is there a "Perfect Mom"?

A month back I was reading a post by a fellow friend & blogger. She was talking about her not so grand mothering days. She refers to them as MOTY.....do you need a hand figuring out what it stands for? Head on over to her blog & check it out http://driedonmilk.blogspot.com/search/label/MOTY

We've all had them. Well, except me I AM the Perfect Mom....*maniacal laughter*

On the day I read her blog I just knew I'd had about a million of these. Even in my short 44 months & 3 days of mothering I had definitely had these days. I'm pretty sure I had them about 10 minutes into my motherhood. Crazy enough though, NOTHING came to mind. However, it didn't stop me from  ROFLMAO at the expense of her & the other commenters. I 'm so lame, all I could comment was...I'll have to get back to you. B O R I N G!!

So I kept an eye out for my Stellar Mom days.

Have I lost my touch? Do I only have two to share? Oh well, you get what you get people.

So about a week ago, I decided to introduce some cereal to HC.

Yes, we are way past the 4 month mark AND yes, we are just starting.....OK...moving on.....

After we ate supper, I fixed a small bowl of this gooey, tasteless crap & sat down in front of HC, who's eager to chomp my hand off. I put the smallest amount on the spoon and shovel it in. Wide & delighted eyes stare back at me. She seems to be asking "What's this?" Kicking of the feet & an eager grin appears.

OH good! She wants to try more. In goes the next bite.

Frown. Gag. That wasn't the same thing!! Where's the good stuff?

Laughter from me. In comes Gala...."BITE!" "BITE!"

OK, but it's not as good as you think. Look at sissy's face....

In goes this spoon full of "food". Gala gags, I erupt in laughter then turn back to HC. Another gag across the room from Gala. More laughter. Another gag, harder laughter. OH CRAP!! There's her supper on the floor!!! Instant MOTY award for me!!!

My hubby asks if in hind sight that wasn't such a good idea. How the heck did I know she'd puke? He reminds me who her Dad is....Oh yeah, weakest stomach in the world. That you can take to the bank. He's got that award & no one can take it from him except maybe our girls.

The other occasion is too embarrassing to go into detail, but just know it wasn't pretty. Although I have been learning to keep the peace from my RCIA classes, apparently my training went out the window last night. I was trying to get acquainted with my sewing machine when my "angel" RD decided she needed MORE Mommy time. I tried the patient act for a few minutes, but sadly I snapped in the end. Sewing machine got put away, RD got a sippy of milk, & the dishes got done. I tend to clean when I'm super irritated. Guess that's a plus. A tornado blew through again.

My weight loss guardian angel

Sorry in advance if this is a hard read. It was a flurry of thoughts. Its hard to write with so much going on in the mind. I feel that those of you that are stugglers, like myself, will get it.

I've been down this road many times. When will I get it together? The day I'm on the operating room table about to have triple bypass surgery? I NEED to get "it" before then. If I don't my girls are going to be on this same road & let me tell you it's bleak.

I'm told, as a child my Mom had a hard time finding things to dress me in. Everything was too big. Once I hit puberty (you know the lovely monthly visitor) I packed on the pounds. I was 11 that summer. Not only did the weight come on, but I got hips. WIDE hips. I've been struggling with my weight since. I'm a month away from 32.

I topped the scale at 150 as a Junior in high school. Lost some weight. I outdid myself shortly after high school. I was 180. Again with the weight loss. That time I used pills. Metabolife. Anyone remember the original Metabolife? You couldn't buy it at any store. You had to have a sales consultant (drug dealer) to get them. What a magic pill!!! Years later they banned the active ingredient (ephedra) in the "real" deal. Sure, sure they still sell it. Ephedra free that is. I developed a Thyroid issue shortly after my use. Do I know 100% for sure Metabolife was the cause. NO, but I'm pretty sure it didn't help it either. I learned a lesson with my year worth of "drug" use. It's not worth it. I lost my first child due to my unknown thyroid issue & I'll be on meds for the remainder of my life.

Metabolife did help me drop weight quick AND gain it back just as fast. I'm fat yet again. I'm 180. I try a healthy approach this time. I start watching my fat intake. I lose slowly. I never weighed myself during that time. I just let what was going to be, be.

About 7 years ago a few co-workers of mine at the time started Weight Watchers. I seen the results they were having. I made the quick realization, if they can do it so can I. My first day free of work I headed to my local Weight Watchers meeting. I was so nervous. I had no idea what to expect but I was determined this time. I weighed in at 157.2. Well, that was better than I expected. I hadn't weighed myself in some time. OK, I really can do this. So it was set in motion. First week, down 3.6. YAHOO!! Next week 2, then 2.2; .6; 3.6!! This is so easy, I get "it"! I've got this! It continued on like this for 24 weeks. I lost an average of a pound/week. Only having 2 weeks where I gained. I had reached my lifetime goal. Surpassed it even. I was for the first time, in my adult life, thin. I weighed 129.6. I felt wonderful. It wasn't so much the awesome sense of well being that came with it but the accomplishment I felt. I finally did it. I became a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers. How awesome is that?

A year later I was pregnant with my first child. I lost the baby. Depression. Gain. We got pregnant again. I was back up to 157 when I got pregnant this time. I topped at 194. I stuck with eating good & the weight easily came back off. I was back into my prepregnancy clothes in a few weeks postpartum. Wonderful. I quit work when RD was 10 mos. Weight gain. I got pregnant again. This time starting at 176. I topped at 214. I returned to Weight Watchers at 2 mos PP. I got back down to my prepregnancy weight. It was a struggle that time. What's this? I'm pregnant again?!?!?! Start over. I topped at 204. I am still hovering at 185-190 today. 5 months later. I haven't returned to Weight Watchers since. When you have a family of 5 & only one working parent certain things have to be cut. I gave the program my all last week from home. I quit nursing the baby the week before. Sort of cold turkey so to speak. I assumed I was going to have a fabulous first week. I gained. 1.4. WHAT? I'm going to assume it's from the breast milk that's filling up. I've given up for a few days. Depressed. Why isn't this coming off like the first time?

I'm sitting at our RCIA meeting last night. Someone walks in. Someone new. Someone that's never attended our meetings. An Angel. My Weight Watcher leader. Just the person that I needed. She probably doesn't know how much affect she has on her students. Without her encouragement it's hard. We hugged & she asked how I was. I was honest. She offered her encouragement. I'm sure she doesn't know what a light she was yet again but I am so thankful to have seen her. Where of all places? Church. Apparently she grew up in our church & is active in her faith. She devotes her time to helping others. Thank you God for subtle ways.

Dressed to impress?

SIDE NOTE: From here on out our girls will be referred to as apples. For security reasons of course. Our oldest is Red Delicious or RD, middle is Gala, & our baby is Honey Crisp or HC.

So for those of you that are following or *coughs* read my last couple of posts, you now know my husband and I have started attending Church. While I enjoy attending it has taken some getting used to. We have joined the Catholic Church. There are things Catholics do at mass that you may not be familiar with if you were not raised Catholic. Which neither of us were. So trying to figure out the missal, when to sit, stand, recite (OK, what prayer everyone is praying in unison) took a little time. We aren't even close to having it down but we're getting there.

Our other dilemma is attending mass with the girls in tow. It feels like a reenactment of the Civil War. We've attended every time frame of mass they offer. Deciphering which time is better for us, the perfect pew to sit or if other kids are present. We don't need ALL the attention on us. We take an arsenal of items: paper, crayons, toys, drinks, several different snacks, & all the diapering supplies. Now you might think that could keep 3 angels busy, right? Well it doesn't. I'm open to EVERY suggestion you guys have.

Our first couple of times we went alone. No need to bring the kids to something we had no clue about. I've been to other Churches were parents have their angels in tow. Never seemed to bug me. Maybe it's exaggerated because they're mine this time. Who knows.

The first time the girls went RD got very impatient fast. She wanted to go home, NOW. So she started chanting "I don't like Jesus" over n over. Thank you Lord everyone was singing praise. She was drown out. BUT my face was flush.

We always sit in the very last pew. It sits farther from the pew directly in front so there is more wiggle room for the kids, car seat & bag of goods. It also gives RD plenty of room to use the kneeler as a balance bar & Gala can't escape out the back because there's something (no, I don't have a clue what it is) firmly planted behind "our" pew. Her only options are to high tail it out the side (Daddy sits there so no chance of that happening) & going under the pew to the one in front of us (which has happened). Luckily she hits feet & gets stuck which makes her turn back toward us. I often wonder what the person in front of us thought about when they chose that pew. I'd of seen our mess of a family & kept on trucking.

I personally love sitting close to the front. I can't see a dang thing going from the back. If I was on Facebook, I'd hit the dislike button (if there was an option) about back row pews. About a month back I got a crazy idea. The girls have to be used to this by now & I wanna see. So I headed in & traveled half way up the aisle. The husband was in panic mode. I reassured him we'd be fine. Half way through mass HC started fussing. My darling husband, being the wonderful guy he is, picks her up & heads out the back. Gala goes crazy (she's a major Daddy's girl). I try calming her. After minutes, which felt like an hour, I decided to pack it up. I gathered our arsenal up off the floor & jammed it into the bag, grabbed a missal so I could start learning the mass better, swooped up Gala, hissed at RD to come on, genuflected, made the sign of the cross, & headed down the aisle disheveled. I am met with glares & wide eyes. Oh come people, have you never seen crazy kids? I open the doors & reached victory. I made it out with the girls in tow, alive. I see my husband's lovely face & felt a sense of relief wash over me. We head to the car. I throw our ransacked possessions into the car, buckle in Gala, plop myself into my seat, & grab for the seat belt. My face fills with embarrassment. My top is connected by 2 lonely buttons. The bottom 2. The ta-ta's are free. No wonder every eye was on me as I walked the plank......

Deep sigh. I still have to show my face there. Lessoned learned. No more button up tops. This is what the darling husband offered as his brand of encouragement. I'm sure they'll just say "There comes the crazy family. You know the ones with the screaming kids & undressed mother. Yeah the one that took the missal! That's them!" Thanks Honey, you always know how to make me feel better. :)

Got Kids....

In my pre-kid days I was neat & put together. I once had every single "valuable" neatly placed & within reach. The carpet looked brand new & was kept vacuumed. The walls looked freshly painted. My clothes were neatly pressed & free of barf. Not only did I look the "single" part, my mind was in "single" mode. I could come & go as I pleased, watch my TV programs, & shower when I wanted. Gone are the days of freedom & cleanliness.

Fast forward to the "aftermath". My carpets are soiled, I have broken &/or chewed furniture (yes, my kids teethed on my end tables), & 99% of the time it looks like a tornado blew past my home. Try showering or using the restroom without an audience. I also have anxiety & heartache. I'm constantly wondering if I did or said the right thing. I worry my girls are gonna grow up hating me. I dread the dating & driving ages.

Growing up my Dad always used the phrase Got kids, got Sh*t. We still hear this today. After all he's got kids who got kids. You know what that equals? More sh*t. If I got paid just a penny.......well, you know how the saying goes. He often gets stares of amazement. It seems they think he hates his kids. That's far from the truth.

As a parent myself, I now use this phrase. After all it translates into: You got kids, You got EVERYTHING. I could replace that gnawed end table, but that's my child's mark. My "valuables" aren't so valuable anymore. What really matters is the hold they have on my heart & the mark I'll leave on theirs.

Direction

Are you the type of person to get stoked about things? Or are you just ho hum on everything? Maybe you fall in between. I tend to fall in the first category. My only downfall is I tend to lose the enthusiasm shortly after. Could something be wrong with me? Why do I do this? I had an ex tell me that I was like a bird. I never fully have my feet planted on the ground. At the time it really upset me, but I think he's right. I often wonder if it's because I lose interest or because I knit pick myself till the death (I'm one of those perfectionists). Last night I sat & thought about my topic for today. I realized that right now this blog is lacking in direction. Most blogs I follow have a set theme. Hair, weight loss, movie or music reviews...You get the idea. So what is my blogs "theme"? Do I even have one? My answer was No. Deep sigh. Maybe I shouldn't even bother blogging. BUT I'm so tired of getting a fire inside me & watching it fizzle just as fast as it came. I don't know where this blog is going to lead or if it'll ever have a theme, but I'm gonna do it.

I want my first topic to do 3 things: 1. Grab your attention, so you'll want to read the next post 2. Make you ponder or evaluate your beliefs & 3. Make you join in the conversation. I don't want to be the only one "talking". I do enough of that all day. I created a list, in no certain order, of topics I'd like to discuss. Some things really controversial, others not so much if at all. Again, NO one way street. What topics do you want to discuss? Make sure to email me. I also want to point out something we all already know. Not all of us are going to see a topic the same way so be considerate of one another. Keep an open mind too, you might just see it in a whole new light. As one of my teachers just recently stated "If we could all just accept one another for our differences, what would the world be like?"

For the #1 reason listed above, I chose Abortion as my first pick. This is a super controversial topic & the vast majority of you have to have an opinion on it. Maybe you are 100% for or against it. Maybe you linger in the middle or lean more toward for than against. I want to hear your take on it & why you feel this way. Are your beliefs on Abortion based by morals, religion, parents, etc....

So where do I stand? I lean toward against. Not 100%. Let me explain. If you have a person getting an abortion for the mere fact that they slept around and got pregnant, well I feel that's wrong. What if she was raped? Should she be expected to carry this child to term & keep or choose adoption. Not only was she violated but now she has to endure this? What if the pregnancy is going to cause her to lose her life due to a complication? Should she choose death or her child's life? Or is this the time where you put your faith in God? After all, we've been taught, God has a plan for everything & He'll never give us more than we can handle. I takes a lot to put your full faith in Him doesn't it? I know it is does me......I'm hoping to grow from here.

Inspiration

My husband & I recently decided that we needed "something" more in our lives. Figuring out that "something" took some time, but we finally decided it was a place to really call home. Some where to grow, to learn & to belong. A place to find our faith. Yes, I'm talking about Church. Don't close your screen yet!! I'm not gonna go on a religion kick. I just want to share where I got my inspiration to blog. Once we figured out where we were going to join (yes, it took thought) we called the Church & started on a journey. We took a 6 week class, had our girls baptized, & started another set of classes. We aren't close to being done but I'm glad we're doing this together & for our family. The one thing that keeps popping up (to me)during our journey is Relationships. Making them, feeding them, nurturing them. I've decided I need to build more relationships in my life. Ever notice when you are looking for a new vehicle & all the sudden you see THAT vehicle everywhere? Relationships are the same way. A friend or family member may love Mariah Carey (you know who you are) & all the sudden it's everything Mariah. So every time you see Mariah you think of that person. You may have never even noticed Mariah before you built that relationship. Relationships are important in so many ways. As humans we need that connection. We need to feel love, laughter, belonging. Our relationships are where we will find God. With that being said, I hope you'll tune in and follow me. On my journey through faith, understanding & relationships. I will pick topics that I feel are important to discuss. Topics about just plain old everyday things. I want lots of feedback & once a week I'll let you all pick the topic. Email me your suggestions!! I'll post the first topic shortly......happy tuning in.