Expectations

Parents Magazine has been running a few articles the last few months on mothers' expectations for the "perfect" child. The articles are mainly focusing on mothers of children with special needs. One mother wrote, of her daughter with down syndrome, that had she known she would have terminated the pregnancy. Another mother wrote, her daughter also with down syndrome, that she cried when she looked at her daughter. She knew immediately she had DS. During the night, she cried for the lost visions of a perfect daughter. She felt this could not be her child. Almost like a mourning.

Even though I'm not a parent of a child with special needs, I can sympathize with their pain. These articles made me stop & think. We set ourselves up for such high expectations only to be left feeling let down. I see it in so many aspects of my life and the lives of people around me. There is such a broad spectrum on the  types of expectations we place in our lives. You may be reading this & think that one type may be more impacting than another, but I don't see it that way. An expectation as simple as imagining the perfect family photo can wreak such havoc. You may end up feeling stressed, tense, angry, maybe even lashing out at the kids or hubby. Was this your intention? Does it make you look back at that "perfect shot" and say what a great day? Probably not. What about expectations of who your child will become? Doctor, lawyer, band member? Why do we set ourselves up for this feeling of loss?

Sometimes I think we need to take a step back. Really ask ourselves what this expectation is going to get us. Does anyone see where I'm going with this? It's not about being perfect. It's not about what others think of us. It's about the simple pleasures of life. It's about loving what God has in store for us. In the end, those mothers that lost their "perfect" child never really lost them at all. Their perfect child was right there, waiting patiently for them to see it. When they did, it was like looking at the world through new eyes.

Tradition

Well, I haven't written in awhile & I've had this one saved back till after Thanksgiving. Since my house was stuck with the stomach flu yesterday, I'll share this one today.

With the Christmas holiday drawing near, I'd like to ask that you share a tradition you have. It could be something you did as a child or something that you've continued doing with your kids.

My parents always bought us an ornament every year so that when we were grown, we'd have a great start for our own trees. My Mom tried (meaning some years it didn't happen) to bake a cake for Jesus every year. I mean, 'Tis the reason for the season!! We always went to my Mom's parents house on Christmas Eve. I loved my childhood Christmas'.

I want so badly to start new traditions with my girls. I've decided that this year we are going to read a book on the true meaning of Christmas, attend mass on Christmas Eve, bake a cake, pick out & cut down a real tree, open new PJ's Christmas Eve night, & I will pass on the tradition of giving ornaments. I've also thought about having everyone write each member of the family a "Why I love you" note to give Christmas morning & donating our time to a local charity. Of course, those may have to wait a few years when the girls are older.

Christmas, Christmas time is here. Can you hear me singing to you? :)

Prayer

During my faith journey, I continually find myself trying to control my life. Ultimately, I know it's not my place to control my path but it's hard to let go. Putting my full faith in God & knowing He is leading me on the right path is my biggest obstacle. I have been asking God daily to help me let go & trust in him.

I've found, if I listen, God is always speaking back to me. NO, He didn't pick up the phone & give me a call, but He is working through the relationships that I have. It can be through friends, family, or a complete stranger on the street. You just have to be open to receiving the message & open to new relationships.

This morning, I received an email about this exact subject. Although the message was great, the included prayer was powerful. He knew how much I needed it. I would like to share the prayer with all of you because I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this.

Dear Lord, the dark can be frightening.
Jesus, sometimes my ability to trust seems so much smaller than the step I need to take.
Help me to build a history with You.
A history of seeing You will help me trust You over and over and over again.
I want that. I put my trust in You.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Ruts

I'm in a rut. Not a small one either. It seems I'm stuck in many aspects of my life. I've gone through a lot of changes & challenges these last few years. One of my biggest is due for it's one year anniversary. Sadly, I can't seem to wrap my head around all these changes. I find myself yearning to have myself back. It's not just a mental thing for me. I've had a major "health" issue arise last year & it engulfed me. Since then, I've been letting fear consume me. I think about it every time I make a move. No, it's not something that I will die from. It just sets a whole slew of limitations on me. I'm desperate to not let this rule my life. I just don't know how to work with it. I never thought I'd deal with this at this age. I'm not even sure I thought I'd ever deal with it. Of course, one never does think things will happen to them, do they?

Drum roll please......

We have a winner, but first I want to take the time out to thank everyone that sent in their darling photo! It didn't turn out to be a huge contest but fun none the less! It was a close race for quite a few days!! Now on to the fun....and the winner is.......

Challenge me, please?

There are so many hot & controversial topics in the world. Religion, politics, abortion, euthanasia, birth control, obesity, government sponsored programs & smoking, to name a few. Every human being in the world sees things through different eyes. No two people are exactly the same. Yes, two people may be pro choice yet still have different views as to why they are. Every person is different based on their upbringing, education, faith, surroundings, social standing, etc. Most important, God has given humans freewill.

A friend brought up a hot button topic & immediately someone lashed out. Obviously, more often than not, someone will take offense on these topics. What causes others to lash out? Is it because we are on the opposing side & have a need for everyone to feel the same way? Maybe they feel the speaker is directing the statement toward them. Why is it so hard for everyone to just accept one another for who they are? Wars are started over such topics. What would the world be like if everyone loved everyone for who they are? Flaws, opinions, quirks & all.

I'm sure you've heard the rule it's better to never discuss them. So what's right? Should we discuss them? I feel we should. I never want to pretend to be so highly educated that I have no room for growth. I personally like these topics because I can benefit to hear everyone's side. It opens up my eyes to a broader spectrum of possibilities or new ways of thinking. So while I may not agree with you 100%, I thank you for taking the time out to tell me why you feel the way you do.

Children's Books

I love books. I want my girls to have a love of books.

The great thing is, RD already does. Of course, we read to her from the time she was a month old. I can still see her flapping her chubby arms from pure delight. She'd get so worked up we thought she might take off flying.

Gala seemed to have no use for books, other than for eating. We didn't make the time to read to her nightly. We're.....gasp......Bad Parents. She's getting there though. It's great to see her face light up now too.

We won't be making the same mistake with HC. We make sure to include her during storytime.

Some of our favorite books are:

The Ice-Cream Cone Coot & Other Rare Birds by Arnold Lobel. This one was my oldest sister's book from her childhood. She is 43. CRAZY!! We keep it put up. I want it to survive my girls! LOL

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown. This is a classic.

Ten Little Ladybugs by Melanie Gerth. Great for teaching counting.

The Feelings Book by Todd Parr. Teaches kids all about different emotions.

Everywhere Babies by Susan Meyers. This one is very dear to my heart. This was RD's starter book.

How Many Kisses Do You Want Tonight? by Varsha Bajaj. Another one very dear to me.

So I could go on....but I'd like to tell you about a few others. I subscribe to Parents Magazine & found a small snippet on books for early readers. The suggestions were:

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Bill Martin Jr.

Corduroy by Don Freeman

Alexander & the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

Six by Suess by Dr. Suess

Mortimer by Robert N. Munsch

Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed by Eileen Christelow

We're Going on a Bear Hunt by Helen Oxenbury

Frog and Toad are Friends by Arnold Lobel

Reading is not only a easy way to spend time with our kids but can boost their learning. How great is that?! Check out some of these titles from your local library! We did!

Please share your favorites?!?! Inquiring minds want to know!

Giving Thanks

October has come & gone. Matter of fact, where did 2010 go? Before we know it will be New Years Day. Deep sigh. Christmas is only 50 days away. Can that be?

Lets start November off with a bang. Tell me what your thankful for. I'll start.

I'm thankful because I have 3 healthy kids, a hardworking & dedicated husband, no vehicle payments & a window of opportunity (for a relationship I've been praying for) has opened up. I couldn't ask for more. Well, I could, but I shouldn't :)

Organization

Seems somewhere along the way I have lost organization. Did it slip out of the house while I was at the hospital delivering our first daughter? Would you return it to me if & when you see it, please? I have become the head of FEMA, well, at my house anyway. Only difference is my F in FEMA stands for our last name! I will guarantee you 10 tornadoes pass our house on a daily basis. Need proof?

I just picked this room up 10 minutes ago. I will pick it up again. It will look like this 10 minutes after.

Please excuse the lovely mauve walls & carpet. The previous owners felt it was an injustice to leave a color alone in the palette. I'm too lazy & broke to do anything about it yet & that's a whole new subject. Now if you have suggestions on how to set up a playroom & keep it organized, I'm all ears!

A gamble

I'm taking a gamble & so far I'm not happy with the results. I've got tough competition. I want nothing more than to work from home. I don't need to make a ton of money. I simply want to have extras. Is that really all that much to ask? I know, your thinking, cry me a river. Seems everyone wants this, don't they?!?!

Costume Contest

Good morning all! Hope your Halloween was as awesome as ours!

I had so many show an interest in the contest but only one lonely submission, so far. Don't forget today is the last day to submit your photo!! My one contest entry said they were having difficulty uploading to my email. Wonder if anyone else is having the same problem? Maybe the link in the original post is faulty? If you are, just copy and paste my email threefromthetree@gmail.com to your "To" & then attach your photo in the email. Please don't forget to leave your name!! If you need full details CLICK HERE

Can't wait to see all the submissions!!