Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Ruts

I'm in a rut. Not a small one either. It seems I'm stuck in many aspects of my life. I've gone through a lot of changes & challenges these last few years. One of my biggest is due for it's one year anniversary. Sadly, I can't seem to wrap my head around all these changes. I find myself yearning to have myself back. It's not just a mental thing for me. I've had a major "health" issue arise last year & it engulfed me. Since then, I've been letting fear consume me. I think about it every time I make a move. No, it's not something that I will die from. It just sets a whole slew of limitations on me. I'm desperate to not let this rule my life. I just don't know how to work with it. I never thought I'd deal with this at this age. I'm not even sure I thought I'd ever deal with it. Of course, one never does think things will happen to them, do they?

1 comment:

  1. :( It seems to me that you have a lot of questions about what you can or cannot do. You need to get with your doctor and let her know your fears, questions, and concerns- write it all down. Be very prepared. I know you dont want to have the surgery- But you need to know what is best for you. Ask about specific activities you want to do- and the affects they might have. Quit scoping out the internet info- all that does is cause greater fear. You need to know now only what you cant do, but what you can- and then move forward.

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