Expectations

Parents Magazine has been running a few articles the last few months on mothers' expectations for the "perfect" child. The articles are mainly focusing on mothers of children with special needs. One mother wrote, of her daughter with down syndrome, that had she known she would have terminated the pregnancy. Another mother wrote, her daughter also with down syndrome, that she cried when she looked at her daughter. She knew immediately she had DS. During the night, she cried for the lost visions of a perfect daughter. She felt this could not be her child. Almost like a mourning.

Even though I'm not a parent of a child with special needs, I can sympathize with their pain. These articles made me stop & think. We set ourselves up for such high expectations only to be left feeling let down. I see it in so many aspects of my life and the lives of people around me. There is such a broad spectrum on the  types of expectations we place in our lives. You may be reading this & think that one type may be more impacting than another, but I don't see it that way. An expectation as simple as imagining the perfect family photo can wreak such havoc. You may end up feeling stressed, tense, angry, maybe even lashing out at the kids or hubby. Was this your intention? Does it make you look back at that "perfect shot" and say what a great day? Probably not. What about expectations of who your child will become? Doctor, lawyer, band member? Why do we set ourselves up for this feeling of loss?

Sometimes I think we need to take a step back. Really ask ourselves what this expectation is going to get us. Does anyone see where I'm going with this? It's not about being perfect. It's not about what others think of us. It's about the simple pleasures of life. It's about loving what God has in store for us. In the end, those mothers that lost their "perfect" child never really lost them at all. Their perfect child was right there, waiting patiently for them to see it. When they did, it was like looking at the world through new eyes.